Boyd Cooper



(Again, this has been adapted from an RP application I wrote previously.)

Boyd Cooper is everyone's favourite crazy paranoid guy. He earnestly believes that the hats (yes, HATS) and the dairy industry are out to get him and his place in DarkRealm is for rambling on about random conspiracy theories and letting others exploit the remainders of his Milkman programming.

Skills and Weaknesses
Boyd is pyrokinetic (specifically, he can start fires with his mind), though he can't exactly control it. (This has led to numerous freak occurrences of hats catching fire - Boyd took it as a sign that they know he knows.) There is a small possibility he's telepathic, but due to having voices in his head anyway it's unlikely he'd be able to pick anything out. Other than this, he appears to have no other abilities that are particularly out of the ordinary.

He will react to elemental magic and similar the same way any human would. However, he has several psychological weaknesses. Include mention to mind control devices (or the fact that they’re watching all the time) - or warn of someone coming to kill him – and he'll let his guard down instantly. Other ways of playing on his fears include recreating the voice of the G-Men (a serious monotone that states the obvious), creating illusions of the G-Men, setting his hat on fire or stating that the aliens/government agents/hats have arrived. Due to their triviality, it might seem worth exploiting these phobias just for your own entertainment.

Appearance
Boyd wears either AN OUTFIT or a guard's uniform, which is somewhat oversized – though he’s still a bit chubby without it. He has the oddest metabolism which results in his arms and legs being a great deal thinner than the rest of him.

He has an almost cylindrical head, as well as nearly circular brown eyes, which twitch on occasion and show general signs of exhaustion. Curiously, one of his eyes is noticeably larger and rests slightly higher on his face. It's almost as if both eye sockets were designed with this size in mind, furthering the asymmetry. In addition to that, he has the pleasure of a shortish rectangular nose and a mouth surrounded by slight stubble. Vaguely yellowed skin would indicate alcohol damage, and there are burns on both his hands. Due to all of this Boyd is not what one would consider 'attractive'.

Normally Boyd speaks with an American accent, and his voice is panicked and erratic, but if you, for whatever reason, manage to activate his 'Milkman' programming (see History), he'll have a monotone.



Personality
Always anxious, Boyd takes measures for every negative outcome he can think of - and yet he's quite gullible if promised a supposed 'missing piece' to his conspiracy theory. He appears to bottle up his anger and frustration, which ends up being conveyed - intentionally or not - through his badly controlled pyrokinesis. (And, of course, his 'slight' pyromania.) While Boyd’s ego isn’t completely monstrous, it isn’t exactly the smallest either. Admittedly he can often be quite self-centred, which you sort of have to be when you believe everyone’s out to get you. As such, you will be lucky if you gain his full trust.

Boyd suffers from a particularly bad case of paranoid schizophrenia. Among the delusions that have arisen, he believes he's constantly being watched, and that the G-Men (shadowy figures promoting extreme surveillance, while holding paper-thin disguises) are trying to capture him, to either silence him from ever releasing the 'truth' or to use him as a lab rat. Furthermore, he appears to think the hats (that is, literally hats) and the dairy industry are behind everything - and that several head-garments have spoken to him and asked him questions. When confronted about his insanity, he'll probably suggest he might be the only sane one.

Suspicion is hardwired into him. If you catch him idle you're likely to overhear some part of his extensive, word salad-ish conspiracy theory that he works through near-constantly.

History
Not much is known about the first couple of decades of Boyd's life, and he would probably not wish to share it with anyone. However, we can safely assume that his mother was a pyromaniac, his father was caring but busy, and he never trusted Girl Scouts. What we do know is that Boyd was originally quite a calm security guard working for a department store only known as Hernando's. He was happy to have a job, which inevitably tempted fate and meant that soon after, he was fired for no apparent reason. This was the point he snapped. Using makeshift Molotov cocktails from empty milk bottles, he burned down the department store and was quick to end up an inmate in an unnamed asylum. Said asylum closed a while later, and Boyd was left to his theories alone.

A while after this, he - and at least four other patients - were moved to the abandoned asylum, Thorney Towers Home For The Disturbed. A psychic with plans to take over the world (*cough*) employed Boyd as the guard of this new base, after a brief hypnosis session. This ensured that after their plans came to fruition, Boyd's programming would activate and he would become the 'Milkman', who'd deliver the ‘milk’ Molotovs to the asylum and destroy all evidence. Boyd is half-unaware of this fact and searched for the Milkman's identity for a while. Then Razputin Aquato activated his programming accidentally, Boyd burnt down the asylum and supposedly went sane because of that. Except he didn't. He fell further and further into insanity, eventually reaching the DarkRealm.

Relationships
Friends: Most people CONSIDER Boyd as a friend, but he trusts nobody.

Enemies: He thinks everyone's out to get him... so... yeah.

Lovers: OH GOD NO. This would never, ever work.

Trivia
Queen has written two volumes of improbable theories regarding Boyd, his hallucinations and his past. She also has imaginary headcanon that he and Rattmann (or a generic G-Man) are perfect for each other.